I just ate three Oreos. Dammit! Oh, the best of intentions. To my defense, I didn’t bring that junk into my home. They were in the loot bag from the birthday party and I wasn’t about to let Coco eat that junk! Man, why do I treat her better than I treat myself? It’s a crime. I really need to treat my body with the same amount of care and tenderness and respect that I do hers.
Tonight, exhausted and desperately in need of sleep I put it off to do a variety of other things. So much is going on in my life that I can’t keep up! After traipsing up and down Bonifacio High street this evening in search of a wetsuit for Coco I came home and prepared a spaghetti dinner. But this was after we were sitting down in TGI Fridays for dinner earlier and Coco started acting up. She was just cranky and tired but I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her attitude and knowing I need to be more firm and have more follow through I gave her one last chance to change her whiny attitude. She wasn’t able to get herself together so we left. She cried hysterically the long walk back to the car (I had to scoop her up at one point) and the entire 30-minute drive home. I think she was in shock that I actually followed through on a threat. I had been planning on doing this for months but she always seems to get herself together before I carry through. The more I am able to do this though the more she will understand that I am serious but with only seeing her a couple of hours in the evenings there isn’t usually a way to follow through and on weekends her behavior is so much better (and I don’t know what to attribute that to… getting away from the relaxed, free for all culture of her preschool? the lenient yaya home taking time off? or maybe she’s just happier being with me or respects me more..???)
But anyways, after dragging her out of the restaurant and being subjected to her cries of anguish for 30 minutes (she was fine when we got home and had a bath and a nice healthy dinner at home which she enjoyed) I decided a nice meal was in order for myself so I doctored up some store-bought spaghetti sauce (I know, another failure) with some palm sugar, fresh basil and spices and had bowl of spaghetti with a glass of red wine. I cooked to some Notorious B.I.G., belting out the lyrics while the yaya ironed in the next room. She probably thought I was crazy but it felt so good. While cooking I hit up a friend of mine on Skype and carried that conversation on later on into the evening while also reading blogs and emailing someone on Facebook. Talk about doing some crazy multitasking! This involved so many different parts of my brain. Check out the conversations I was having simultaneously:
* Flirting with my friend in Toronto via Skype about running away with him, falling in love and living off the grid
* PMing someone on Facebook whom I have never met about unethical practices in Ethiopian adoption, adoption of older children, special needs adoptions, PTSD and RAD
* Reading a blog about a family of 7 who travels full-time on $2000/mo
* Dealing with my sister and some ridiculous family drama
* Thinking about the next moves in my life
* All the while feeling guilty about not being asleep!!
So, yeah, it’s going on 11 o’clock and for some reason I thought adding writing blog post to that mix was a good idea (it’s not) so I am going to shut this down now. Meanwhile, I look forward to an upcoming trip to the beach for some much needed r&r!!!